Cold Revenge Fueled by Fire
by TwelfthofMay
Summary: Sirius Black goes through raw emotional shock the night the Potters are murdered. One shot.


Author's Note: I don't own these characters. They belong to their respected owners.

Sirius stared down into his chipped teacup. The dregs were floating lazily at the bottom in the last quarter inch of tea. It had long ago gone cold. Sirius could hear the freezing Halloween rain batter the windows in sheets. His hair was still slightly damp from having been out in it just a few hours ago. Had it only been a few hours? It seemed like years. Sirius felt old, but mostly he felt confused.

Remus watched Sirius with apprehension from across the table. Twice he had opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed it. After all, what comforting words could he say? He was afraid his voice would break and he would have to turn away with tears in his eyes. Was it best to sit in silence?

"He had this look on his face-" Sirius said in a shaky voice as if he were unsure of his words. His teacup that was in his hand was rattling against the saucer. His voice broke; he couldn't finish the sentence. Remus noticed that Sirius was gripping the teacup so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Remus didn't know what to say.

"Finish your tea, Sirius," Remus said almost lamely. Sirius slowly brought his eyes up to Remus'. Their eyes met for an instant that dragged like an eternity. Remus had to turn away. He couldn't look into the eyes of a broken man. When he looked back, Sirius had his face in his shaking hands.

"I gave Harry to Hagrid. My bike, too," Sirius confessed almost mechanically.

Remus hesitated. Sirius drew in a breath and picked up his teacup. He downed the last of it.

The old grandfather clock sounded 10 o'clock. A tinkle of breaking glass broke the silence. Sirius had dropped the teacup. Sirius fell to the floor and began collecting the broken pieces into his napkin. Remus got up to help.

"I'm sorry, Remus," muttered Sirius. His voice sounded hollow and faraway. He

Remus pushed Sirius's hands away, "It's okay, really, I'll get it." Sirius's hands were cold and clammy. Remus disposed of the chipped glass.

Sirius got back into his chair and rubbed his temples. He stared at the tablecloth. He picked at a hole in it.

"I should've been the secret keeper, I would not have cracked like Peter did," Sirius said through grit teeth. His words were racy and thick, as if he had difficulty spitting them out.

Remus wanted desperately to say something. He heard the clock ticking dully in the hall. Apprehension gripped him.

Sirius drummed his fingers slowly on the tablecloth. His rhythmic drumming fell into beat with the pounding rain. Suddenly, he stopped drumming.

Remus looked up and dared to make eye contact. Sirius's brow was furrowed and his eyes were strangely wide. Crazy. His teeth were bared in a dog-like grin. Remus was taken aback so much that he actually stepped backward.

"Sirius-" Remus started to say in a firm voice that seemed to not come from him.

"NO," Sirius bellowed. He stumbled out of the chair and into the living room where the fireplace was crackling. Sirius leaned on the walls for support. Remus put on a burst of speed and caught Sirius's arm. Sirius jerked out of Remus's grip. Remus took a stronger one and wheeled Sirius around to face him.

"Don't you go taking chances! This is for the Ministry!" Remus almost pleaded. He had lost two friends tonight. One to Evil and the other to-

"Dead! I'm not going to sit here and not avenge James!" Sirius bellowed. His chest was heaving and his cheeks were flushed with color. He stood there breathing heavily. Remus stared.

"It's what he would've wanted!" Sirius yelled so loudly that Remus winced. Sirius reached for the jar of Floo Powder on the mantel. Remus stepped in front of Sirius's reach.

"It's late, Peter'll be at the Leaky Cauldron. Getting drunk, probably. Celebrating.." Sirius thought out loud.

"I don't need to lose you, too," Remus said so honestly that it almost made Sirius change his mind.

Sirius gripped a handful of the powder, threw it into the fire, and stepped into it. He took a deep, steadying breath, and shouted in a clear but broken voice:

"The Leaky Cauldron!"


End file.
